Space Exploration - Correction

Travel Space

Since the 1950's many people around the world have been exploring space. Space exploration has advantages and it has definitely expanded the boundaries, however, people often raise the question whether going into space and spending so much time, effort and money is worth it. Good opening.
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On the one hand, traveling to space is very important because of some reasons. First, if we don't learn more about space, we won't be able to live there when we run out of space on earth. Second, scientists all over the world have been trying to search for knowledge and to discover if there are new life forms in space. Therefore, space travels can prove if they really exist or not. In addition, space exploration is important because we may find natural resources - a thing that may solve our energy problems. Moreover, many discoveries were made for example, the fact that we can live on the moon and as a result , there have been companies that sell pieces of land on the moon.

On the other hand, space travels is a waste of money, that can be used for important things such as health and education. In addition, space travels involve risks and many accidents have occurred. For example, Ilan Ramon, the first Israeli astronaut that reached space, was killed when he was about to land on earth. In addition, many people say "why won't we invest money in solving urgent problems on earth instead of wasting so much money on space exploration?".

To conclude, space exploration has advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, we shouldn't waste much money on space exploration. What's the point in exploring space if we have so many problems on earth? I strongly believe we have to use the money for other things so that earth will be a better place to live in and as a result, it will improve our quality of life.

Excellent work , Noa. This was clear, well written and interesting to read.(95)

Dealing with peer pressure- correction

Dealing with peer pressure:

Peer pressure is a serious problem to deal with for teenagers in the 21th century. Most of the teenagers in highschool, regardless of their age, are influenced by peer pressure. In my essay, I would like to state my opinion about that dilemma.- great opening!

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On the one hand, peer pressure has (a) negative influence. Many students, for example,(מיותר) behave like the popular students in their class and want to look like them by talking like them and doing the same things. For example, they smoke cigarretes, use drugs or cheat in tests because of peer pressure, which can be very harmful to them because they give in to it.

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On the other hand, peer pressure may be good when it is positive. For instance, if students in the class organize a charity campaign for people in need and others are motivated to do all sorts of things for this purpose, it is a very good thing. Therefore, a person should choose his friends carefully and ignore or say "no" to negative pupils who try to influence him and eventually hurt him. It may sound easy, however, it isn't because it is sometimes hard to be different and to stand for what you think. Despite that, everyone of us has to learn it because we need to be able to protect ourselves and do only the things that are good for us.

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To conclude, peer pressure can be positive or negative, it depends on the situation and the people who are involved. We need to tell the difference between them and act according to our judgment even if we have to say "no" to acceptable students.- very good ending.

Now it's excellent. (100)

Daphna