Computers have changed the whole world since they were invented. This important technology has been used by many people around the world. There have been a lot of cases where computers have replaced humans, doing a great job. Therefore, some people claim that computers may replace teachers. I support this claim, I believe computers can replace teachers in some situations. I will relate to this issue and explain why in my essay.
To begin with, students in the 21th(st) century are different from the students in the past. While the current methods of teaching fit the latter, it(what are you referring to?) is unsuitable and inappropriate for the former. The students in the current era spend their days sitting in front of a computer, surfing the net. The educational system has to fit itself to the students' way of life and needs. Thus, a change is needed. Namely, if some students learn better by(ww.) a computer instead of a human teacher, there should be such an option.
In addition, there are students who have special needs. For instance, handicapped or sick students who are confined to their home or hospital. Those students can not attend school. If computers replace teachers, those children will be able to study despite their limitations. There have been other cases such as in Australia where students, who live in remote places, far from a school, study with the help of a computer .Another example is the pupils in the south who could have studied during Cast Lead Operation two years ago.
To conclude, computers may replace teachers in certain conditions. If we do that, both the teachers and students will benefit from it. The students will study in a way that will suit their specific needs and the education system will cater those students' needs.
Excellent work.
(95)
Daphna
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Young Drivers And Accidents
(The) Modern car is one of the most important inventions of the 21st century. Since it was invented, the car has become a popular means of transportation . However, in order to drive you must learn how to drive and pass a test to get a driving license. In our country, Israel, you may get a driving license at the age of 17. However, Young drivers are involved in a lot of accidents. Therefore, an organization of accident victims has recently proposed that the age of getting a license should be raised to 19. In my opinion, this proposal will help decrease the rate of road accidents.
To begin with, there are many advantages of(ww.) this law. At age 17, many of the drivers give in to peer group pressure. Therefore, it is much easier to convince them to drive after drinking alcohol or drive beyond the speed limit. Moreover, at 19, young drivers are usually more responsible than drivers, who are 17 years old(why is that?). Another argument is that a person has to be eighteen in order to vote in (the) elections, so why may he get a driving license earlier? Is it(?) really less important than driving(ww. - don't you mean - voting?)?
In my point of view, the Israeli government should increase the awareness of ways to prevent(phr.) car accidents among young drivers. If young drivers realize what the consequences of their reckless driving are, they will be afraid to act like that in the future. Furthermore, the police should enforce the laws routinely and punish people who disobey traffic laws severely. If those reckless and dangerous drivers are not afraid of the dangers of their driving, maybe they will care about their money.
To conclude, in the(מיותר) light of (the) above, I strongly believe that this law is necessary in order to reduce the rate of car accidents. Without it, we won't (be able to) prevent future accidents.
Good work.
(87)
Daphna
Please correct your work.
To begin with, there are many advantages of(ww.) this law. At age 17, many of the drivers give in to peer group pressure. Therefore, it is much easier to convince them to drive after drinking alcohol or drive beyond the speed limit. Moreover, at 19, young drivers are usually more responsible than drivers, who are 17 years old(why is that?). Another argument is that a person has to be eighteen in order to vote in (the) elections, so why may he get a driving license earlier? Is it(?) really less important than driving(ww. - don't you mean - voting?)?
In my point of view, the Israeli government should increase the awareness of ways to prevent(phr.) car accidents among young drivers. If young drivers realize what the consequences of their reckless driving are, they will be afraid to act like that in the future. Furthermore, the police should enforce the laws routinely and punish people who disobey traffic laws severely. If those reckless and dangerous drivers are not afraid of the dangers of their driving, maybe they will care about their money.
To conclude, in the(מיותר) light of (the) above, I strongly believe that this law is necessary in order to reduce the rate of car accidents. Without it, we won't (be able to) prevent future accidents.
Good work.
(87)
Daphna
Please correct your work.
Friday, October 22, 2010
The Internet - For and Against
The Internet is an invention that has revolutionized our lives. Since it was invented, more and more people of all ages all over the world have used it. No doubt, the Internet has revolutionized our lives. In my essay, I would like to present the advantages and disadvantages concerning the Internet revolution.
On the one hand, the Internet has a lot of advantages. For example, it is a great source of information. You can find almost everything in minutes, without making any effort. Moreover, you can communicate with people all over the world. This way of communication is much cheaper than the regular calls and in many cases is free. In addition to that, the Internet has changed our consumption habits. We do not need to go from shop to shop in order to compare prices or buy something, all we need to do is to surf the relevant website and purchase it online.
On the other hand, the Internet has disadvantages. The Internet is anonymous and there is lack of supervision. Therefore, there are bad people like pedophiles, who use this anonymity in order to commit horrible crimes against children. In addition, the Internet can expose young children to inappropriate contents, which can be traumatic for them and actually harm them. Another drawback is the fact that people are surfing(gr.) the Internet for many hours and, therefore, they do not go out and exercise as much as they used to do in the past. Consequently, people have changed their social life and as result many people become overweight(what is the connection between the changes in people's social life and being over weight?).
To conclude, in the(מיותר) light of (the) above, the Internet has its advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, people can benefit from the use of the Internet if they use it in a smart way so as not to be addicted to it. People should keep in mind that the Internet is a means to an end, it is definitely not the end.
Very good work, as always.
(95)
Daphna
On the one hand, the Internet has a lot of advantages. For example, it is a great source of information. You can find almost everything in minutes, without making any effort. Moreover, you can communicate with people all over the world. This way of communication is much cheaper than the regular calls and in many cases is free. In addition to that, the Internet has changed our consumption habits. We do not need to go from shop to shop in order to compare prices or buy something, all we need to do is to surf the relevant website and purchase it online.
On the other hand, the Internet has disadvantages. The Internet is anonymous and there is lack of supervision. Therefore, there are bad people like pedophiles, who use this anonymity in order to commit horrible crimes against children. In addition, the Internet can expose young children to inappropriate contents, which can be traumatic for them and actually harm them. Another drawback is the fact that people are surfing(gr.) the Internet for many hours and, therefore, they do not go out and exercise as much as they used to do in the past. Consequently, people have changed their social life and as result many people become overweight(what is the connection between the changes in people's social life and being over weight?).
To conclude, in the(מיותר) light of (the) above, the Internet has its advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, people can benefit from the use of the Internet if they use it in a smart way so as not to be addicted to it. People should keep in mind that the Internet is a means to an end, it is definitely not the end.
Very good work, as always.
(95)
Daphna
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Summer Vacation Homework
Page 112 – Car Free Day:
30 Hapoalim Street
Holon
30th April, 2010
The Editor
Hashikma newspaper
20 Mota Gur streeet
Holon
Dear Sir/Madam,
In an attempt to reduce pollution proposals have been made for a "car-free" day once a week. I support this great idea and in my letter I would like to explain why.
To begin with, car-free days force people to use the public transportation, like trains and buses. When many people use the public transportation, they pollute the air less. This reduction can decrease the rate of global warming and save our planet.
Second, a car-free day has an important symbolic meaning. It shows people how they can keep their environment clean without making much effort. Moreover, it sends an important message to people that they have the power to change things by themselves. I believe that people will be more aware of the consequences of pollution. That way they will take responsibility for the damage they have caused and start to do something to solve it.
To conclude, in the light of the above, I strongly believe that the idea of having car-free days is beneficial that should be adopted in each city without any hesitation.
Sincerely Yours,
Shula Noy.
Very good work.
(100)
Why have you written it as a formal letter? You do understad that there is no need now, in Module G, to write formal letters.
Page 105: The Ban On Smoking In Public Places:
Unfortunately, there has been an increase in the number of smokers in recent years. In order to protect non smokers there has been a ban on smoking in public places. I support this ban and in my essay I (will) explain why.
First of all, smoking in public places is extremely dangerous. It can be really harmful to smokers as well as non smokers. Therefore, this law protects people from the harmful consequences of passive smoking. If we don't have this ban, many people who don't smoke will be harmed. Consequently, it will be unfair for non-smokers.
Second, public places belong to everyone. Therefore, smokers have to respect the others, who don't want to harm their health. I know there are specific areas in every public place where smokers can smoke, so this law takes into consideration smokers and non smokers.
To conclude, I strongly believe that this ban is needed and that the police should enforce it in order to protect different groups in society.
.
Excellent work.
(100)
Page 102 – A letter of complaint:
30 Hapoalim Street
Holon
30th April, 2010
The Manager of Shekem Electric
20 Mota Gur
Holon
Dear Sir/ Madam,
Recently I have bought a new computer from your store in Holon. The computer was manufactured by Intel and I paid 3,233 N.I.S for it. Its colors are black and white and the name of the model is Pentium 4. This is the newest model and the most expensive one that your store offers. Therefore, I expected it to work perfectly.
I first saw this computer in an advertisement on TV, where it was claimed that this computer is the best and if someone buys it, he won't regret it. Therefore, I decided to buy it despite the high price.
When I arrived at your store, one of the sales persons showed me this computer. He told me that this computer was the best. However, when I tried to turn on the computer at home, it didn't work.
To conclude, in the light of above, I expect a full refund. I bought an expensive computer, I expected it to work properly without any problems and it didn't work at all.
I look forward to your prompt reply,
Thank you in advance,
Sincerely Yours,
Shula Noy.
Very good work.
30 Hapoalim Street
Holon
30th April, 2010
The Editor
Hashikma newspaper
20 Mota Gur streeet
Holon
Dear Sir/Madam,
In an attempt to reduce pollution proposals have been made for a "car-free" day once a week. I support this great idea and in my letter I would like to explain why.
To begin with, car-free days force people to use the public transportation, like trains and buses. When many people use the public transportation, they pollute the air less. This reduction can decrease the rate of global warming and save our planet.
Second, a car-free day has an important symbolic meaning. It shows people how they can keep their environment clean without making much effort. Moreover, it sends an important message to people that they have the power to change things by themselves. I believe that people will be more aware of the consequences of pollution. That way they will take responsibility for the damage they have caused and start to do something to solve it.
To conclude, in the light of the above, I strongly believe that the idea of having car-free days is beneficial that should be adopted in each city without any hesitation.
Sincerely Yours,
Shula Noy.
Very good work.
(100)
Why have you written it as a formal letter? You do understad that there is no need now, in Module G, to write formal letters.
Page 105: The Ban On Smoking In Public Places:
Unfortunately, there has been an increase in the number of smokers in recent years. In order to protect non smokers there has been a ban on smoking in public places. I support this ban and in my essay I (will) explain why.
First of all, smoking in public places is extremely dangerous. It can be really harmful to smokers as well as non smokers. Therefore, this law protects people from the harmful consequences of passive smoking. If we don't have this ban, many people who don't smoke will be harmed. Consequently, it will be unfair for non-smokers.
Second, public places belong to everyone. Therefore, smokers have to respect the others, who don't want to harm their health. I know there are specific areas in every public place where smokers can smoke, so this law takes into consideration smokers and non smokers.
To conclude, I strongly believe that this ban is needed and that the police should enforce it in order to protect different groups in society.
.
Excellent work.
(100)
Page 102 – A letter of complaint:
30 Hapoalim Street
Holon
30th April, 2010
The Manager of Shekem Electric
20 Mota Gur
Holon
Dear Sir/ Madam,
Recently I have bought a new computer from your store in Holon. The computer was manufactured by Intel and I paid 3,233 N.I.S for it. Its colors are black and white and the name of the model is Pentium 4. This is the newest model and the most expensive one that your store offers. Therefore, I expected it to work perfectly.
I first saw this computer in an advertisement on TV, where it was claimed that this computer is the best and if someone buys it, he won't regret it. Therefore, I decided to buy it despite the high price.
When I arrived at your store, one of the sales persons showed me this computer. He told me that this computer was the best. However, when I tried to turn on the computer at home, it didn't work.
To conclude, in the light of above, I expect a full refund. I bought an expensive computer, I expected it to work properly without any problems and it didn't work at all.
I look forward to your prompt reply,
Thank you in advance,
Sincerely Yours,
Shula Noy.
Very good work.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Applying For A Course
30 Halevi Street
Holon
7th October, 2010
New York University
4 Sweet Street
New York
USA
~~
Dear Sir/Madam,
~~
I saw your advertisement on the Internet. Therefore, I am writing this letter because I wish to apply for the admission to your school of Japenese studies next year.
~~
My name is Shulamit Levi and I am 22 years old. I have been interested in Japenese arts ever since I was a child. I have heard you specialize in this field and you are the only university that teaches that subject. In addition, some of your graduates recommended this course and said it is very interesting. I am currently a student at Bezalel School of Arts, however, my current school doesn't offer a course in this subject. I will be completing my studies next month and I would like to attend your cousres.
~~
So far, I have excelled in most subjects and I am attaching a letter of recommendation from the head of the art depatment. In addition, I enclose my final grades of the courses I have studied. It would be helpful if you provide me with specific details about the school's location and schedule. Moreover, I would be grateful if you send me all the necessary details about the admission requirements, an application form and the list of courses. In addition(ww. - try: Also), I would be glad if you send me details about the dorms at your university.
~~
I look forward to getting your letter promptly.
Thank you in advance.
~~
Sincerely Yours,
Sincerely Yours,
Shulamit Levi.
Excellent letter.
(100)
Daphna
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
A Letter to (the) Traveling Agency
30 Halevi Street
Holon
7th October, 2010
Holon
7th October, 2010
.
The Travel Agency Manager
See the World Travel Agency
20 Mota Gur Street
New York
.
Dear Sir/Madam,
See the World Travel Agency
20 Mota Gur Street
New York
.
Dear Sir/Madam,
.
My name is Shulamit Levi and I am 24 years old. I have read about your agency on the Internet and I was very impressed. I have already been to the United States, however, this is the first organized trip I will go on. Thus, I expect a lot from your agency and I hope the trip will be great. Since I have no experience in this kind of trip, I would appreciate if you provide me with some necessary details about this tour.
First, I would like you to know that I am interested in visiting the country spectacular nature reserves and beautiful scenery, like the Appalachian Mountains and the Colorado Lake. Moreover, I am less interested in museums and other historical sites.
Second, I have few questions about the financial aspect of this tour. How much does this tour cost? Must I pay it in credit card? I heard from a friend that he couldn't pay for the tour in cheques, so I have a problem because I don't own one. Moreover, I would like to know in which hotels we will stay. Will the price include breakfast and dinner? Will the price include entrance fee for all the sites we will visit? Last but not least, will you have trips for ten days in September?
To conclude, I hope that this trip will be enjoyable and will meet my expectations. I will grateful if you answer my questions as soon as possible.
I look forward to your prompt reply,
.
My name is Shulamit Levi and I am 24 years old. I have read about your agency on the Internet and I was very impressed. I have already been to the United States, however, this is the first organized trip I will go on. Thus, I expect a lot from your agency and I hope the trip will be great. Since I have no experience in this kind of trip, I would appreciate if you provide me with some necessary details about this tour.
First, I would like you to know that I am interested in visiting the country spectacular nature reserves and beautiful scenery, like the Appalachian Mountains and the Colorado Lake. Moreover, I am less interested in museums and other historical sites.
Second, I have few questions about the financial aspect of this tour. How much does this tour cost? Must I pay it in credit card? I heard from a friend that he couldn't pay for the tour in cheques, so I have a problem because I don't own one. Moreover, I would like to know in which hotels we will stay. Will the price include breakfast and dinner? Will the price include entrance fee for all the sites we will visit? Last but not least, will you have trips for ten days in September?
To conclude, I hope that this trip will be enjoyable and will meet my expectations. I will grateful if you answer my questions as soon as possible.
I look forward to your prompt reply,
.
Sincerely yours,
Shulamit Levi.
Shulamit Levi.
Great!
(95)
Daphna
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Formal Letter - 3.
11 Halevi street
Tel Aviv
April 5th 2010
The Station Manager
Lev Hamedina Radio Station
4 Hanadiv street
Tel Aviv
Dear Sir/ Madam,
It has been advertised that you are planning to produce a series of one hour radio programs for teenagers and I would like to suggest that you produce programs that deal with problems teenagers have.
To begin with, your idea of producing programs for adolescents is very beneficial. Therefore, I suggest you devote those programs to deal with various problems they have. Teenagers will come up with questions or problems they have and you will bring a psychologist, a doctor and other necessary experts to provide them with suitable answers/solutions. Thus, they will have the possibility to ask any question they want and get the best answer.
In addition, it is very important to keep the names of the people who ask questions anonymous so that people will feel free. It would be helpful to tell listeners to ask about any subject they want and guarantee their voice will be distorted so they won't be recognized. As a teenager I know how valuable this program can be. I am sure many other teenagers agree with me. We hear about many sad cases young people make mistakes because they have no one to turn to .Sometimes those mistakes are fatal.
To conclude, in light of the above, I strongly believe that if you produce such programs, you will help a lot of young listeners.
Sincerely Yours,
Noa Cohen.
(95)
Daphna.
Tel Aviv
April 5th 2010
The Station Manager
Lev Hamedina Radio Station
4 Hanadiv street
Tel Aviv
Dear Sir/ Madam,
It has been advertised that you are planning to produce a series of one hour radio programs for teenagers and I would like to suggest that you produce programs that deal with problems teenagers have.
To begin with, your idea of producing programs for adolescents is very beneficial. Therefore, I suggest you devote those programs to deal with various problems they have. Teenagers will come up with questions or problems they have and you will bring a psychologist, a doctor and other necessary experts to provide them with suitable answers/solutions. Thus, they will have the possibility to ask any question they want and get the best answer.
In addition, it is very important to keep the names of the people who ask questions anonymous so that people will feel free. It would be helpful to tell listeners to ask about any subject they want and guarantee their voice will be distorted so they won't be recognized. As a teenager I know how valuable this program can be. I am sure many other teenagers agree with me. We hear about many sad cases young people make mistakes because they have no one to turn to .Sometimes those mistakes are fatal.
To conclude, in light of the above, I strongly believe that if you produce such programs, you will help a lot of young listeners.
Sincerely Yours,
Noa Cohen.
(95)
Daphna.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The Seminar In Massada
Two years ago, I went on an educational seminar to Massada with Hatzav, my youth movement. It was the last seminar of my first year as a guide for children. I really enjoyed this week and learnt a lot of useful things from the seminar. Therefore, I would like to describe this unforgettable trip in my essay.
First, after we arrived at Massada, our guides gave us some explanations about how to behave during that week. After that, they divided us to five groups, which included guides from all over the country. There we studied how to guide young children of different ages. We had the chance to meet other guides from other cities. We were asked to prepare activities together and we became friends very quickly because we had a lot in common.
In addition to studying guiding strategies, we had a lot of fun. For example, we went to the pool, we had parties and the most enjoyable time was during the nights, when we met and told jokes till we fell asleep. The highlight of the trip was the initiation ceremony. It all started when our guides told us they were going to take us home because we misbehaved the night before. We had been walking for ten minutes until we saw candles. We understood that the guides had played a trick on us and we were very excited and relieved. Then we got the guide certificate. You can imagine how happy we were because we had been guiding for a year by that time.
To conclude, this seminar was one of the most exciting, incredible events I have ever experienced. I will never forget it, because I have made a lot of friends and become a youth guide which is a very important achievment for me.
Good work, but where is your 11th writing task???
(90)
Daphna
First, after we arrived at Massada, our guides gave us some explanations about how to behave during that week. After that, they divided us to five groups, which included guides from all over the country. There we studied how to guide young children of different ages. We had the chance to meet other guides from other cities. We were asked to prepare activities together and we became friends very quickly because we had a lot in common.
In addition to studying guiding strategies, we had a lot of fun. For example, we went to the pool, we had parties and the most enjoyable time was during the nights, when we met and told jokes till we fell asleep. The highlight of the trip was the initiation ceremony. It all started when our guides told us they were going to take us home because we misbehaved the night before. We had been walking for ten minutes until we saw candles. We understood that the guides had played a trick on us and we were very excited and relieved. Then we got the guide certificate. You can imagine how happy we were because we had been guiding for a year by that time.
To conclude, this seminar was one of the most exciting, incredible events I have ever experienced. I will never forget it, because I have made a lot of friends and become a youth guide which is a very important achievment for me.
Good work, but where is your 11th writing task???
(90)
Daphna
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A letter of complaint 2
16 Kugel Street
Holon
8th Feburary 2010
Holon Tours
1 Mota Gur Street
Tel Aviv
Dear Sir / Madam,
I took an organized trip to China that your agency offered a month ago. I wish to complain about the misleading information that was given to me on the Internet about that organized trip I took. Moreover, I would like to complain about the poor service I was given.
To begin with, when I saw your attractive ad on the internet, I decided to take this trip with you because you are a reputable travel agency. You promised that we would stay in five star hotel. In addition, it was promised we would get a good guide who is an expert in chinese culture customs and familiar with interesting routes in China.
1 Mota Gur Street
Tel Aviv
Dear Sir / Madam,
I took an organized trip to China that your agency offered a month ago. I wish to complain about the misleading information that was given to me on the Internet about that organized trip I took. Moreover, I would like to complain about the poor service I was given.
To begin with, when I saw your attractive ad on the internet, I decided to take this trip with you because you are a reputable travel agency. You promised that we would stay in five star hotel. In addition, it was promised we would get a good guide who is an expert in chinese culture customs and familiar with interesting routes in China.
However, when we went on the trip we realized that the hotels where we stayed were not five star hotels . They were actually youth hostels which offered rudimentary services, a fact which had been contrary to what you had promised in your ad. Moreover, your guide took us to places which had not been included in the original route, skipping some major tourist attractions, that we were supposed to visit. When we asked him why he decided to change the route he said very impolitely:"I am the guide and I am the one who decides where we will go". Therefore, we have missed many important sites and the whole trip was boring. If I had known that the route would be changed, I would not have gone on this trip.
.
To conclude, in the light of the above, I would appreciate if your travel agency will give me a refund or a compensation. I have to mention that I have been traveling with your company for many years and I have never complained about any trip. Unfortunately, this one turned to be unsatisfactory.
I look forward to getting your reply as soon as possible.
I look forward to getting your reply as soon as possible.
Yours Sincerely,
Noa Davari.
Great work, as usual!
(95)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Volunteering to SPCA
Noa Davari
16 Amir Drori Street
Holon
8th Feburary, 2010.
SPCA Organization
1 Mota Gur Street
Tel Aviv
Dear Sir / Madam,
My name is Noa Davari and I am 17 years old. I have heard about your volunteer organization in the newspapers and on T.V, recently. I have been really impressed, so I decided to join your organization and contribute to help abandoned animals and pets. I strongly believe that youth voltunteering is important.
Volunteering at your organization is very important. We need to care about other domestic animals, which can not take care of themselves. We have heard about many dogs and pets that died because they were abandoned by their owners. Your organization adopts those animals and tries to give them warm homes. You take those pets to your shelter, treat them and then try to convince people to adopt them. I, personally. believe I can contribute to this important cause.
Since childhood, I have been taking care of animals, espacially helpless animals who do not have anybody to take care of them. For example, once I saw a homeless kitten, I took it to my home, adopted and treated it until it was one year old and then I released it. That way I saved it. I personally have had pets for many years. Therefore, I know what they need and how to look after them.
In light of the above, I strongly believe that I am suitable to volenteer in your organization.
I look forward to getting your positive reply as soon as possible.
Yours Sincerely,
Noa Davari.
(100)
Daphna
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